Die

They say when you are just about to die, your whole life flashes past you. The cliched highs, lows and whatnot. Well, I don't know about that, but my life is flashing past me, only, I am not dying (I've never had a near, or for that matter, far death experience), I am only in love. Yes, this is my love story. It is unique, with nothing close to anything you've heard or seen before, but again, for all it's singularity, it is after all a love story.

Today is the day. I am in love and here is my life flashing by...

Project

One of the most vivid dreams I ever had was one where I was chasing a tiger with a stick and a whistle.. Somehow my current project feels like a similar exercise..

FUNDING

Writing this at 6:24 am (no I did not wake up early), I have two observations or rather facts :

1. I am yet to finish my reading assignment. (which is a kick ass one: papers on math models developed for preventing bio terrorism and emergency reaction.)

2. I have to report to my library job at 10 am.

This only makes me think how much more work I can put in as a grad student if I had funding. Just a thought my dear University.

Work

This is the second in a series of posts that I plan to write labelled "Dynamics of Grad Life". My first post was titled Desperation.

The weird thing about studying at the Library is that I find it literally packed the entire week from 8:00 pm to 1:30 am. Suddenly at 2:00 am there is nobody. Similarly I found that Friday nights have the same effect. The place was almost empty.

I am posting this on a Sunday night and I could not find a seat in here. Easily. Strange.... Or is it?

Desperation

Ever had that tingling nervelessness. Yes I meant nerveless and not nervous.. That weird restlessness when you feel so pent up, so wasted that you can't do anything but you want to do something. And not just anything.. Something reckless.. Something consequential.. Something.. Something...

The nostrils flared, the breath was ragged, the eyes were bloodshot.. But suddenly they cleared. The eyes, oh! the eyes.. The eyes cleared so fast that it almost seemed that the blood was retreating in fear. The pupils constricted until they were a mere dot.. But what a fearsome dot..

Now, I was going to do something... My lungs expanded and what followed was a blood curling scream.. The scream of righteous anger.. I had had enough and this was the day.. I had promised myself I would do something someday and this was that day...

I went to sleep..!!! Blissful sleep..!!

The key words in U of M are Sleep Deprivation. Grad life for you...!!!

USA Journey Part 2- To Buy or Not To Buy!

Talk about disjointed and irritating.. What a piece of work!!! Well that is how life is. I can't help it. Just forgive me and keep reading. So Dubai at night!! What a wonderful sight!! So the minute I come out of the plane I am ushered into nothingness. There is absolutely nobody. I walked for sometime and finally found an information desk. Denis (from IBM) was still with me as he was catching the same connecting flight. The guy on the info desk told us since we had our boarding passes we could go straight to the gate. We just needed to go up a flight of stairs, take a left and keep going straight. Sounded simple. Straightforward enough.

So we made our way.. Only to realize keep going straight  meant just that. We kept going straight. We were now met with almost a constant stream of people. The first thing that strikes you at the Dubai International Airport is its vastness. It is aptly named (Dubai Air city the Pilot announced). The second thing you notice is the sheer opulence. The number of shops which scream duty free at you is enormous. Flashing signs and huge piles of goods mark the place.

Denis had by now identified a forex counter and took leave saying he had some extra money to spend. The question for me now was the point of this post. To buy or not to buy!! Of course being the conservative son of my father that I am you know what I did. I realized what an evil place this world is though.. So much temptation.....!!! The other fascinating thing that I observed at the airport was the women.

All bedecked in full length bhurkas with either veils or hijabs, one noticed that they had the latest in women's make up on them. The curled eyelashes were there, the mascara was there, the lip gloss was in place (I actually saw a lady with orange lip gloss), the rouge was there, the entire ensemble. I have no opinions on this but it was fascinating...

The rest of my journey was pretty ordinary, my flight to Washington was delayed by an hour and a half. I missed the take off as sleep finally had its say. I made regular visits to the snack bar for bad coffee and a cold sandwich and finally had a special breakfast of pooris and masala (since I was vegetarian), missed having it twice. My name was printed twice so I actually was offered two meals which I denied. (I learnt the first rule of the grad student only after I reached the US). The pooris were delicious but only resulted in heightening my already raging hunger and too my utter disbelief the song played on the in flight radio was "Hungry like the wolf" by Duran Duran. 

I barely made my flight to Rayleigh, my immigration taking me less than a minute. The advantage of my flight being late was that there were only two people in my immigration line. The flight to Rayleigh was a really short one and I was reminded of Maddy's dialogue in Minnale.

The plane raced down the tarmac and the strains of Psychokiller screamed at my ears as we touched down... I wonder if it meant anything.

My brother came and picked me up from the airport....

USA The Journey Part 1

So, a lot of people have been wanting to know how I came to the US and what I am doing here. To the more mundane and dumb of you my answer will be I flew. But that of course is only for those who fit that bill. My presence here seems to generate a lot of questions. Brilliant questions like "So have you become an American now?", ordinary ones like "So, how do you like it there/here?" and out of the world ones like "Is America like how you expected it (to be)?"

I am going to quench the thirst for knowledge for all you guys by telling you a story. Let me begin at the middle as that is what concerns you. Now, before I begin I have to confess that my journey was most uneventful and reading is strictly at reader's discretion. The story (for you) starts on one a/August afternoon. August the 5th to be precise. In Bangalore (Bengaluru to those who insist). Any student traveling to the US will know all about what a harrowing experience it is. Not the journey, but the leaving India part that is. I had the usual troubles of trying to convince everyone not to come to the airport, that I'll pack myself (my stuff that is, but the other option would have proved better), that I'll not talk to strangers etc.. etc.. A young student traveler is one of those great events which unites every acquaintance of the said student. You can listen to the same message, warnings, advice from everybody around you.

I actually began to feel if I was taking the right step in leaving them behind. But I did. A lot of my friends came to the airport and my advice to all the would be travelers is, ask your friends to come. More the merrier. It gives no option to your relatives but to relax.  The tension seems to ease. I flied emirates and my route was through Dubai and Dulles to Raleigh. My first piece of good fortune happened when my baggage was checked in in spite of one of my bags a good kilo overweight. I guess they expect Indian students to come loaded..

An international student to the states from India needs to pass immigration twice, once in India and once in your port of entry. I hardly stopped at either one, in India because the questions were simple enough, in Dulles, well we'll get to that. The emirates leg of the journey was the best because of a lot of reasons.
1. They had great service, 2. They had a good selection of movies (watched Greenzone), 3. I made a good friend in Dennis from IBM, 4. It was just short enough and 5. The view of Dubai from the flight was breathtaking to say the least.

For the first time in my life I fell in love at first sight. She had that kind of effect on me, did Dubai. She looked brilliant bedecked with lights and sky scrapers, with the Al Burj dominating the skyline. One picture of the city just peeking over the wing, will stay with me for life....

Coimbatore

I am writing this in what are my last moments (hopefully not final) in a city that has made me what I am today. I hope my mom is ok with it.. In the space of this and my last serious post, (not counting the limericks) a lot of things have happened: I have been accepted by a University in the USA, I went on my first ever road trip in a Volkswagen Polo within days of it hitting the road. The view of Kerala (one more advantage of being in Coimbatore) from the back/front seat in a Polo was awesome. I have had my visa application accepted which officially made me a non-immigrant student visitor of a country on which I have a very low opinion of. Yet as the hypocrite I am, I am leaving my hick home town to meet my stars...

Coimbatore has been a haven and a happening place for me with very few faces which feature strongly. I would want to expand this post but I am posting this any way as this could be my last post from Coimbatore or should I say IP.

And they say I am not emotional....

Comic Attempt

Some Photos - Why I use the manual mode in my camera

A play

Right! I am going to tentatively head this play as "The great Indian dream"

I am publishing the play in its entirety as I had envisioned it. This is a rough draft and maybe changed innumerable times.

ACT 1/SCENE 1

[ An American grad school student driving towards a Harvard building. There is a huge gate. Sees somebody standing outside and calls for him]

American: Yo guard guy! Open the gate.

Indian seeming man at gate: (shows no response)

A: You bloody Indian. Open the gate.

I: Excuse me! Who are you calling a bloody Indian? Yes I am an Indian but that does not give you the right to insult me.

A: Of course it does.

I: Do you know why Indians come to the USA?

A: To get insulted? (Is very amused at his own wit)

I: No. Some of us were oppressing our peers for about 200 years. Now all of us are being oppressed by a group of people who claim to have been oppressed. So to escape this endless cycle of oppression, we go abroad and get an education, a job and a citizenship. Now one day Ill become your congressman and you'll say "Anything can happen in America". Then one day there will be an Indian American president and he'll say, "Anything can happen in America". Now this might happen ........

ACT 2/ Scene 1

The White House.

American 1: May I speak to Mr. James Sutherland (JS), the Undersecretary, World Affairs?

(Gets connected)

American 2: Speaking.

A1: The President has asked for a report on the world situation. A flight is waiting at the JFK for your disposal.

JS: Alright , I'll leave right away.

JS: (to himself) What world situation? America rules the world. Orders, orders...

ACT 2/SCENE 2

(At the airport)

JS: Let me check out the hangar. Ah! there's my flight, PARIS Airlines, the supposedly best fliers in the world.

(Goes inside the plane and meets the steward)

Steward: Good Morning. And what can I do for you sir?

JS: I am the Undersecretary, World Affairs, James Sutherland. I would like to look around.

St: Sure sir.

JS: (Looks at his questionnaire and thinks he'll start his report from the plane) Your name?

St: Happy sir!

JS: Happy? You do know English right? I asked your name. (SLOWLY)

St: Happy sir.

JS: Happy?

St: Yes sir. I was Sukhwinder Singh, which became Sukhi when I came here. Of course Sukhi is Happy in India, So I am now Happy.

JS: Ok. [looking at his questionnaire]. So this airline is based out of Paris?

H: No sir. France.

JS: But Paris is in France.

H: I don't know about that sir.

JS: But the airlines is named Paris Airlines.

H: It is actually Parsi Airlines. There was a spelling mistake, some American guy couldn't spell Parsi. Anyway the name stuck.

JS: Ooooook. Lets meet the captain.

H: A minute sir.

(JS has already reached the cockpit)

H: No no. Please wait.

JS: (enters the cockpit) So what is your name and how long have you been captain here?

Captain: How dare you come in here? Get out this instant.

JS: There must be some mistake..

Captain: What mistake? Teri Maaki..

JS: Did you just call me monkey? Are you abusing me racially??

C: No I said Maaki. That is probably the worst insult in Hindi and involved your mother and your entire ancestry.

JS: Oh. That's alright then. I am the U.S. World Affarirs, and your passenger James Sutherland.

JS: What's your original name?

C: Tata is my last name. My first name is Bahadur and my friends call me Courage.

JS: So how long have you been Captain?

C: 4 years and in these years we have literally flown to the top. Nice pun right?? Works all the time.

(Voice: Indians can't resist wordplay)

JS: Hmmm.. (looking around with a forced smile) What's that? Is that an incense stick? And a bead garland. And a bloody compass with a big red dot on it!! Where the hell are the instruments??

C: What instruments? In God we trust.

JS: How do people fly you? How are you even allowed to pilot this plane?

C: But sir! We are the best in the business...

ACT 3/SCENE 1

(Somewhere in Germany)

JS: Guten Tag Herr. Meinkamf

M: What?

JS: I said good day.

M: Oh. You are Mr. Sutherland, yes? Good Afternoon. Please call me David.

JS: Ah! Your English is impeccable.

M: You sound surprised. Oh! I forgot. You are American. Anyways, a drink? I am going to tune into the radio.

JS: No, thanks.

M: (tuning in)..

Radio: Good Afternoon and welcome to the Deutcheweller Radio and now the day's cooking tip: How to make your Chicken tikka spicier. This will be followed by the day's news...

M: Oh! We'll have to wait for the news.

JS: (surprised) DWR in English??

M: But of course. I thought you guys are well informed. It is the state language for God's sake.

JS: State language??

M: Yeah. Chancellor Angela headed the committee that changed the state language. English is the most widely spoken language you know.

JS: Angela...... Merkel??

M: Angela Kaur. Previously Parwinder Kaur, supposedly Pari means angel.

JS: Isn't Chinese the most spoken language?

M: Excuse me?

JS: Chinese.. from China..

M: Oh, you mean the Indo-China Block. The sex ratio was so skewed in China that they had to merge with India to survive.

JS: I think I'll have a drink. A whisky maybe.

M: And English of course took firm flight after the establishment of the British Raj in London.

JS: Make that whisky strong...

Act 4/Scene 1

[Back in the US, a pub]

JS: (to himself) They are everywhere. Russia, China, even Australia...

[The TV is running..]

TV voice1: And now for the post match review show of the superbowl.

TV voice2: Welcome to Sunny's Superbowl show. What a game! What..a...game!! Two seconds on the clock and Paul Peters scores a touch down for the Giants. The Giants win 21-18. He ran the entire length of the field and in the process set a new record....

JS: Atlast a truly American hero!! The world is not ending...

TV Voice2: Let us meet Paul's parents. How proud they must be of this incredible, beautiful moment of time. Here they are, Mark and Jothi Arokyaraj all the way from Americapuram in India. So how do you feel Mark.....

JS: This can't be happening....

TVvoice2: (After some time) So thats all folks, until next week this is Ravindranath "Sunny" Tagore signing off...

JS: I get it. Ravi means Sun.

JS: (to the bar tender) Excuse me. Can I have a coffee? Black? And a newspaper.

BT: Sure bob. Coffee's on the boil. Here's the paper.

JS: (Flipping through) Enough news.. (Looks over at the entertainment section) Headlines: "Tom Hanks" new movie releasing worldwide today.

JS: Wow! Now Tom Hanks, he is a star! (Turns to the bar tender) So what's this about a new Tom Hanks movie?

BT: Tom Hanks. So that's what they are calling him now?

JS: Calling who? (Turning back to the paper) Shiva "Tom Hanks" Kapoor has been nominated for an oscar in his role as Congressman Jindal in the movie of the same name. Now with his path breaking role as a racially abused Indian in his new movie "Attack of the Kangaroos" he has supposedly achieved new heights in acting, directing, music, singing, cinematography and even choreography....

JS: I need a walk.

(Walks through the Harvard park and sees a student busy at work. Looks over her shoulder and sees a thesis paper titled "Population Exportation")

JS: Shouldn't that be explosion?

St: No.

JS: Exploitation then?

St: Please stop wasting my time.

JS: Ok. So where is the exportation from? Who is being exported? No! Don't answer that! I can guess...

JS: (turning to the audience) By now you can guess...

Audience: India!

JS: No! America you fools...

ACT 4/SCENE 2

The White House

JS: I need to meet the President immediately.

(The oval office)

JS: Sir! Its code red. code red. We have a situation at hand. They are everywhere.

President: (With his chair turned) Who?

JS: The Indians. What do we do? Nuke 'em? Just give the order.

President: (Slowly turning) Forgotten something James? Is this a joke? You know you did vote me in as the first Indian American President of the U.S.A....

ACT5/SCENE1

[In the Harvard Library]

Doctor: He is in shock. No problem. Might have future repercussions though. Will have to give him a full check up.

JS: (slowly opening eyes) Where am I?

Female voice: You are in the Harvard library. I take it you are James Sutherland from the Yale Debating Society. You of course have come here to extend an invitation for a debate.

JS: I think so...

FV: Well, I am Parvati, I am the president of the Harvard Debating Society. The doctor was just telling me that you are suffering from manic shock and you might have repercussions. Doctor?

Doctor: Ah! yes. Of course dealing with manic shock is not very easy in America. We don't face the truth much often. But I do have a colleague, a specialist in India.......

[Curtains followed by Curtain call]

(It is of course clear that JS is the American and the President, the Indian from Act1)

Typical Malayali phonetic spelling I guess..

Aha!!!

You know good service is so important... Ive heard of racial discrimination, sexual discriminaton, but age-wise discrimination???? This is too much..

BE HAPPY

After going on a blog reading frenzy last night, I have come to a conclusion about my own exalted self. I am uniquely gifted, not in writing skills ( As I said I did read quite a few simply superb blogs) but in that sublime rarity called selection and maturity.
I can pat myself on the back. I found that I use my blog as an unadulterated source of happiness presumably to others but more importantly to myself. I do not use it as a siphon to pour my frustrations and complaints and worries... There are other ways to get rid of those things like MOTHER, CLOSE FRIEND, etc.... :)
Now one might argue that what I am writing now gives no happiness, BUT IT DOES. To me it has proved a case in point that I am gifted.
As some say Q.E.D...
And once again I sign off with a BE HAPPY GUYS.....

Writing is so much fun. Like mercy it is blessed twice.(merchant of venice). The writer because he gets so much fun and the reader because he gets so much fun. It can also be viewed as the writer giving joy to the reader through a good piece and the reader to the writer through his enjoyment of the piece. All this blabbering must have some point right?? Well its a message or rather a plea to all those who can communicate...
Please Write.
I will promise you something..
If YOU write I will definitely read your piece...
Good writers are becoming a rarity and I cant stand to see my breed go extint..... ;).

Om Shanti Om

Well a "long" over due review at last... Though I wanted to watch this film ever since its release(being a fan of Shah Rukh) my actual procurement of the ticket was an accident. I had gone to book tickets for a tamil movie but could not get continuous seats, so got OSO tickets instead....
I have to admit, Farah and Shah Rukh are both thinking individuals who make a lot of sense. SRK's relentless marketing is a big reason for the movie's success.The way Farah has inserted various nuggets of sarcasm and satire is a treat to the intellectual.....
From the very opening of the movie to the time when the credits roll its one big roller coaster ride through the life and times in tinsel town and Farah manages to keep you guessing and gushing till the very end...
The aspirations and dreams of Junior artiste, Om Prakash Makhija are very easy to relate to and the scene where he meets his supposed GF the superstar, Shantipriya is simply touching. The innocence and freshness of the character is portrayed with flawless ease by SRK. The love,meeting,saving,meeting between the two leads is all very beautiful and nice. Shanti's unhappiness and apathy is understandable. ( "the best part in shooting is pack-up", she says).The film at this point moves ahead without faltering and on Om's advice, Shanti claims her happiness from her hubby Mukesh, a producer. He of course is the villain and not wanting to put an end to his blossoming career and wanting to marry another producer's daughter, very cleverly deceives Shanti and kills both her and the loving yet helpless witness to the murder, Om. The second half is pretty much vindication by the re-incarnated Om with the help of a look alike Shanti- Sandy. Its a bits and pieces story from various sources moulded into one complete effective screen play.....
In this movie the highlight is the way Farah takes a dig at every thing and everybody that is Bollywood. She spares no one eventually turning the gun on herself and SRK himself. The irony behind the name "Kapoor" is cruel as SRK himself is a self made man.The elaborate sets and the make up is a visual treat though SRK does look a little old. Coming to Deepika... where can i start?? WOW!! She is one hell of a babe and a Heroine. She looks the part of a superstar diva of the 70s. (the make up does help..) The Dhoom Tana song is one technologically proficient song which is kewl to see. The transition and the insertion of Deepika into the songs of yester years along with the sound track is fantastic. Hmmm.. One can go on..
So anyways coming back to the movie.. All the actors involved put in a clean and efficient if not great portrayal. Arjun Rampal as the villain nearly steals the show. He is very very good or is it bad (being a villain :) :))....
One more revelation. I always thought that underplaying a role is the best way to bring it out on screen, but Farah proves me completely wrong as far OSO is concerned. Here every character plays the ham, literally hogging the lime light. Over acting seems to be the key word. But of course everybody is a caricature so it works. ( and how!!) The line by SRK that its a family trait says it all.....
All together the film for the most part is a laugh riot (satirically dry/witty humor combined with some side-splitting spontaneity) touching in some parts, and pretty unbelievable and tacky in a very few places. Bottomline- a super duper hit!!!
Some Things To Look Out For : DEEPIKA, DEEPIKA, SRK's Abs in Dard-E-Disco and the song itself, The scene when SRK plays the Tamil star (Rajini I assume- totally hilarious), The Filmfare awards, MOHABAT MAN and some beautiful songs.
Things You Should Not Even Think About, Let Alone Look Out For : Logic, Underplaying, Story, Dialogues that are not corny, anything that is not 70's.
P.S.: I really appreciate Farah for the credits. She finds a way to bring everybody in and make it unique and lovable too.. And kudos to Deepika to become a real reel super star (could not resist).
So thats all folks. Ill leave you with a " Enna da rascala ?? MIND IT!!!"

ah.. life

Well its been a long time since i was last here and to anybody who cares i promise to return more often. Atleast with shorter versions of my usual versatile self...
So as per the subject i feel justified in talking about life.. not that i have seen enough of it but because i have not..
i just want everybody to know that sadness is a feeling totally out of the ordinary and not necessary at all..
But the question i often get asked is " what do I feel happy about? or Why should i feel happy?" and to all those people I just say- be happy that you are.. that you live. that you can breathe..
so people keep celebrating your breath and hence life itself..
Untill next time!

GURU

I was thinking that maybe this film does not deserve my criticism.. but all said and done, it is "Maniratnam"....
Well getting a ticket in itself was a big challenge.. but lucky me, I got an elite seat, that too a center one. But all that hard work was not justified.... at least not completely. Starting with the disclaimer, things did not ring true. It claimed that "all characters were fictitious and any resemblance to existing persons was pure coincidence." Pure irony.Maybe the director meant it that way.....
The initial portrayal of guru as a sales boy was as "Mani" as it gets... and Abhishek Bhachan has to be commended for the seam-less transformation....
Aha! Now here comes the next false note. It has to be noticed that Aishwarya Rai is a wee bit too old to continue to dance in the rain with abandon... and none of her reactions in this part of the film are natural...Though she does get better with time...
As said before, the disclaimer is a mockery, the story,if it can be called a story,is about Dhirubai Ambani.
Abhishek gives us a good,if not the best portrayal of the character. The Shakti corporations idea,his struggle to get there,the strifes,the roadblocks,the helping hand,etc.. is believable(barely). But the film drags...around here,losing its initial pace,uncharacteristic of Maniratnam.
Then theres another infusion of pace as Madhavan is introduced. The actor deserves credit as he produces another of his superb,underplayed cameos..
Chakraborthy is a revelation. I cant imagine why the actor was in for such a long hiatus.
Vidya Balan pulls the pace down further, as her character in itself only bogs down the pace,but she is natural and honest in the portrayal of a chirpy but handicapped girl...

So these are the films plusses: Abhishek to a certain extent,Mithun Chakraborthy, Madhavan,great background score and really powerful dialogue.
and these are the minusses: Aishwarya Rai,A needless Vidya Balan(though no fault of her own), less usage of Madhavan,needless song and dance sequences,a meandering screenplay and ofcourse lack of the "Mani" stamp.

But the director does redeem himself with the last dialogue sequence,followed by the hero's address to his share holders. These two scenes coupled with Abhishek's screen presence manage to bring the movie back to a semblance of being a MANIRATNAM product.....